The Parodical Periodical.
Robert'); DROP TABLE Articles; -- • 2026-11-04 • free (or by donation)
Hey friend. You don't seem to have an ad blocker running. You should install one to keep yourself safe online. I recommend uBlock Origin, which is free and easy. Much love.
SPECULATION.By 2031, "touching grass" will be prescribed by doctors.
WAR ON FEAR.New research shows that not reading the news leads to worrying about what's going on & increases anxiety.
WAR ON FEAR.New research shows that reading the news leads to feelings of helplessness in a cruel chaotic world & increases anxiety.

The Headlines.

2026-11-04 SPECULATION
By 2031, "touching grass" will be prescribed by doctors.
2026-11-03 WAR ON FEAR
New research shows that not reading the news leads to worrying about what's going on & increases anxiety.
2026-11-03 WAR ON FEAR
New research shows that reading the news leads to feelings of helplessness in a cruel chaotic world & increases anxiety.
2026-11-03 WEATHER
Deceptively pleasant morning foreshadows sinister afternoon.
2026-11-02 TODAY IN HISTORY
(1932) Great Emu War begins, pitting the might of the Australian Army against flightless birds. Stay tuned to find out who won.
2026-11-02 BREAKING
Takeaway arrives exactly on time. Customer suspects something is wrong.
2026-11-01 EXPLOSIONS
"Remember, remember, the first of November" say idiots as they set off fireworks on the wrong night.
2026-11-01 SHOPPING
Black Friday Month starts today. Follow us for the best deals on shit retailers couldn't sell for the rest of the year.
2026-11-01 OPINION
Every car should have two horns: a "gentle reminder", and a "YOU'RE DESTROYING SOCIETY".
2026-10-31 CRYPTOCURRENCY
"Nobody could've predicted this" says industry where this regularly happens.
2026-10-31 BREAKING
Email subject line perfectly matches email content. Recipients suspicious.
2026-10-30 FRIDAY FACT
Blister packs are called blister packs because the act of popping a pill out of one gives your thumb a blister.
2026-10-29 CELEBRATION
Website reaches 1 year old. Sarcastic party balloon emoji to follow.
2026-10-28 FACT
The snooze button exists to give false hope.
2026-10-27 SPECULATION
"Can you hear me now?" will replace "hello" as standard phone greeting.
2026-10-26 BREAKING
Person admits they've been pronouncing "gif" wrong for years, but doubles down anyway.
2026-10-25 STORM BOELO
Thousands of Brits either lose or gain a trampoline.
2026-10-25 WEATHER
Looks nice through window. Betrays you the moment you step outside.
2026-10-24 TODAY'S FEAR
Realising you've been on mute the entire time of your important presentation.
2026-10-23 FRIDAY FACT
Japanese Bento boxes are named after Fray Bentos pies, but the contents are usually customised to a more Asian palate.